脳の食べ物

I lied.

I’m going to get another tattoo, and I’m going up to my parlor today to get an appointment. But before I do that, I need to figure out what I’m getting.

Just call me a douche already.

If you want this to work, if you want to stand a chance in being in a cohabited unorthodox relationship with me, you’re going to have to call me on my shit. You can’t be intimidated to call me for what I am, and if I’m being Ms. Douchey McDouche Bag then you’re going to have to say that. 

Don’t make up excuses for me, “Oh you’re just a little grumpy right now, maybe even hungry.” No motherfucker, I’m being the biggest prick and you’re going to have to tell me to stop being the biggest prick. Let us not smolder over it, have angry sex with me and tell me to stop being a flaming dick. 

I love a nice guy, I really do. I love how you coddle my weirdness and embrace it as a good thing. I love that when I burp over the phone you find me endearing and when I cuss at the old lady who clearly shouldn’t have a drivers licenses, you pat my head and think it’s sweet. BUT WHEN I AM CLEARLY ON MY KANYE WEST I HATE YOU TAYLOR SWIFT MODE AND IT’S DIRECTED TO YOU, please - do not “Oh she’s just being Miley” me. Don’t accept that behavior from me. 

I shouldn’t for one second feel the need to annoy or push your buttons just to see how far it will take you until you snap on me. You let me get away with certain behavior, and truly I appreciate that. There are some things that I do, that you just won’t accept, and I can deal with that. I’m okay with boundaries, stop giving me the keys to the kingdom. I would like to believe that when I’m given all the power I’ll use it for good like a Jedi, but my dear, I was always more a Darth Vader fan and I just can’t handle it.

Tell me no, tell me to stop and lets have make up sex already. 

Waking up to rain.

I always love sunshine and beautiful mornings, that’s the very reason why I moved my entire bedroom to the section with the most windows. Hearing the birds chirp and watching the sun start at the floor, working it’s way up to your bare feet until finally it shines on you, letting you know it’s time to open your eyes. But sometimes, I just love waking up to rain. 

The room is lit like it’s still dusk, I hear raindrops racing down the drain that’s on the side of the house, and the grumblings of thunder is now my new soundtrack to start the morning. I consider rainy days like a Sunday, that one day where all you want to do is throw on your biggest sweat pants, catch up on your tv shows, and start a chapter in that new book you bought. It’s the only time when I don’t feel guilty laying in my bed until the afternoon. Everything can wait, and it’s the only time where mentally and emotionally I feel calm. 

Sunshine I do miss you, but you can become overwhelming when I have too much of you. Rain saves our marriage, it’s the separate vacation we go on so I can be reminded of how much I adore you and cherish you. So just because I’m spending my time admiring her clear drops splashing against my window glass, doesn’t mean I’m not anticipating seeing your ray’s bounce around my ceiling tomorrow. 

Sometimes you just have to wake up to rain and admire for what it is, instead of dwelling for what it’s not, and for me, it’s free therapy.