November 2011
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Sometimes I get really impatient with movies so I pause them, wikipedia the movie, read the entire plot, sigh with satisfaction, and then say to myself, “ah.. that was a good film” as I close the wikipedia page and continue leaving the movie on pause for the remainder of the night.
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I just want you to drink hot chocolate with me and...
October 2011
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I like how I was just shooting the shit with my xbox live customer support lady.
I called 30 minutes ago to help with the issues I had with my xbox and since we both had to wait for me to download something with my shitty internet connection we had no other choice but to fill the awkward silence between us.
After my download got completed, we were still talking because I got so wrapped up in...
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I have only two specific clothing categories in my...
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Random guy on Facebook: are you kinky?
Me: Not anymore, I just straightened my hair
Random guy on Facebook: Huh?
Me: oh… you meant something else.
Random guy on Facebook: Yeah…..
Me: Well this is awkward.
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I'm just a Ramona Flowers who's looking for her...
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We forgot to buy candy for the trick-or-treaters...
I’m waiting for one kid to smack them out of my hands and demand a Kit Kat.
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“WHY DO YOU HAVE ALL THESE DEADPOOL COMICS, WHO IS THIS GREEN GUY, OMG WILL YOU...”
– As my mother yells at the top of her lungs in the middle of the street during a snow storm wearing rain boots and my bathrobe.
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Halloween Parties.
Me: I just walked into the bathroom and Nyan Cat was giving Lindsay Lohan a blow job.
Roommate: I was just dancing with a squirrel
Me: We shouldn't talk about this tomorrow morning..
Roommate: Honestly I have no idea if i'm on drugs right now
Me: Fucking obligatory costume parties.
Roommate: Text me when you want to go home, I see some hot Raggedy Ann's.
Me: Alright, i'm going to go play beer pong with Yeti.
Me: What the fuck am I saying?
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Vertical Horizon - “Everything You...
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Tonight i'm not going to be myself.
Then again, isn’t that the appeal of Halloween parties to begin with?
I’m not saying i’m going to be dressed up as my whorish alter ego, actually i’m going as a zombie Hogwarts student. I’m talking socially. Usually my flatmates have to drag me out to the clubs, drag me out to the bar, drag me out to a party. You get the picture, i’m getting dragged out to...
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I'm a terrible hugger, but I like to be hugged.
I’m one of those people who just stands there with their arms to the side while the other person embraces me as I awkwardly just stand there.
Why? Because hugging is complicated.
You have to figure out before going into it weather or not you’re going to be the one wrapping your arms around their sides, or around their shoulders. And if you don’t figure it out before impact...
Tell me something, okay?
anything you want.
a joke, your name, what you did today, random fact, recommendation, ect.
anything.
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Ingrid Michaelson - “Are We There...
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