Sometimes I get really impatient with movies so I pause them, wikipedia the movie, read the entire plot, sigh with satisfaction, and then say to myself, “ah.. that was a good film” as I close the wikipedia page and continue leaving the movie on pause for the remainder of the night.
I like how I was just shooting the shit with my xbox live customer support lady.
I called 30 minutes ago to help with the issues I had with my xbox and since we both had to wait for me to download something with my shitty internet connection we had no other choice but to fill the awkward silence between us.
After my download got completed, we were still talking because I got so wrapped up in the conversation about first person shooter games and how Left4Dead is the most amazing stress reliever game I forgot to tell her I didn’t need her assistance anymore. We just kept talking.
I had the most interesting 45 minute phone conversation with a complete stranger, and I don’t even like the phone.
“WHY DO YOU HAVE ALL THESE DEADPOOL COMICS, WHO IS THIS GREEN GUY, OMG WILL YOU GIVE THESE AWAY MY BACK HURTS, I’M TIRED, ARE YOU 12 WHY DO YOU HAVE A BATMAN GRAPHIC NOVEL, WHAT TIME IS IT, HOW MANY MORE BOXES ARE LEFT TO MOVE, I’M GOING TO SIT DOWN AND READ THIS BATMAN BOOK OK, I’LL JUST HELP YOU MOVE BY MOTIVATIONAL WORDS. YOU’RE DOING A GOOD JOB!”—As my mother yells at the top of her lungs in the middle of the street during a snow storm wearing rain boots and my bathrobe.
Then again, isn’t that the appeal of Halloween parties to begin with?
I’m not saying i’m going to be dressed up as my whorish alter ego, actually i’m going as a zombie Hogwarts student. I’m talking socially. Usually my flatmates have to drag me out to the clubs, drag me out to the bar, drag me out to a party. You get the picture, i’m getting dragged out to places instead of willingly wanting to go. Mainly because I’ve made myself so incredibly anti-social that anything regarding mingling with other humans gives me an instant eye roll while hopping back into bed.
Tonight however, i’m not getting dragged anywhere. I was the one that threw out the idea to go to a Halloween warehouse party. My flatmates were a bit shocked, but more than excited to obliged to be my dates. We’ve been texting each other all day settling on costumes, where we’re going to pre-game, and who else we can take with us. And I actually started to get excited as well. Normally I would be hiding in my room by now with blankets over my head being a shut in while Netflixing. But i’m not, i’m running around my room gathering up all my Harry Potter clothes and make-shifting the best zombie witch costume possible.
I’m going to let go of myself. I’m going to dance like I dance in my room (regardless of what my flatmates say, they are currently shunning the idea…pffft, I got mad moves), and just have the complete freedom of not thinking about anything or anyone. The complete disregard to my lack of social skills and just have fun. Dance with whoever offers, whip my hair back and forth, twirl like an idiot, and you know what, I might even toss some damn glitter somewhere. I will be the most sociable motherfucker up in that party and I refuse to be anything less. Tonight, I’m wearing my halloween costume on the inside.
Although, I might calm down on the dancing because lets be honest, I might eat a burrito beforehand.
I’m one of those people who just stands there with their arms to the side while the other person embraces me as I awkwardly just stand there.
Why? Because hugging is complicated.
You have to figure out before going into it weather or not you’re going to be the one wrapping your arms around their sides, or around their shoulders. And if you don’t figure it out before impact you’re just nailing one another with your arms until you just settle on high fives or quickly stick your hands in your pockets.
So I just wait for the person to hug me first and rest my head on their shoulder or chest to acknowledge the embrace. But my arms go no where.
Realistically though, i’m just fighting awkward with more awkward. I know this. Just accept that I suck at hugging.