- Little Brother: Why haven't you requested me as a family member on your Facebook yet?
- Me: Because your profile picture is stupid.
- Little Brother: Who even does that?!
- Me: Your face will ruin the aesthetic of my profile.
- Little Brother: I hate you :(
But the reality is you don’t actually want me.
You want the idea of me.
The cops got called to our house.
Now i’m going to have to explain why two grown 27 year old men are in possession with a bra with a hole burned through it and why theres pancake batter splattered all over the place.
Obviously we’re going to deny everything.
Roommates: Can we borrow your bra?
Roommates: The dicks across the alley from us launched eggs in our backyard. We want pay back and we need a sling shot. Hence asking for your bra, we feel as though your boobie holder will give enough velocity to hit their house.
Me: There’s an old one in the bottom drawer of my dresser.
Roommates: TIT LAUNCHER HAS BEEN INITIALIZED, DOMINATION INEVITABLE.
<this is where they chest bump, run up the stairs cackling into the dark while holding my bra>
When you’re in that phase of “talking” or full fledge dating one another, I suggest that you stay clear of their facebook, twitter, blog, or any other social media surface that publicly displays comments from other people. Unless you’ve gained the maturity to withstand the brewing rage inside of you when you see Debbie Maybell from Bumfuck Egypt commenting on your boyfriends Facebook picture with “;) teehee sexy” or Mami4u2nv @tweeting him, “why don’t you stop over my house sometime, sweetie xo.”
If your partner is exclusive to you, there should be nothing to worry about. He should have the respect for you to handle the situation like he’s suppose to. If other girls are throwing their e-cooch all over him and he entertains the idea, obviously you both aren’t on the same level of commitment. Which means you need to reevaluate your situation and not go completely psychotic and messaging or tweeting or blogging about these girls and them needing to stop.
No matter how much you’d love to segregate your man from the easy access of ass & titties, you’re going to have to let him be a big boy on his own. You can’t prevent other woman from wanting him by constantly stating how “this is yours” to every flirty message he gets. If he’s yours, then he is yours. You’re not proving that to other people, you’re proving that to yourself out of your own insecurity. And frankly, any guy who makes you feel insecure online, definitely doesn’t deserve you offline.
The kind of man who would take Rufio for a walk or take him to the park and be secure enough with himself holding a leash attached to a 3lb Chihuahua.
This actually means the world to me.