KYOKO HAS A BLOG.
July 2011
June 2011
Picking on your little brother in 2011
- Little Brother: Why haven't you requested me as a family member on your Facebook yet?
- Me: Because your profile picture is stupid.
- Little Brother: Who even does that?!
- Me: Your face will ruin the aesthetic of my profile.
- Little Brother: I hate you :(
What does your body look like?
You tell me that you want me.
But the reality is you don’t actually want me.
You want the idea of me.
My roommates launched cherry bombs & stink bombs in the wrong yard.
The cops got called to our house.
Now i’m going to have to explain why two grown 27 year old men are in possession with a bra with a hole burned through it and why theres pancake batter splattered all over the place.
Obviously we’re going to deny everything.
Tit launcher.
Roommates: Can we borrow your bra?
Me: Wait.
Me: What?
Roommates: The dicks across the alley from us launched eggs in our backyard. We want pay back and we need a sling shot. Hence asking for your bra, we feel as though your boobie holder will give enough velocity to hit their house.
Me:
Roommates: Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Me: There’s an old one in the bottom drawer of my dresser.
Roommates: TIT LAUNCHER HAS BEEN INITIALIZED, DOMINATION INEVITABLE.
<this is where they chest bump, run up the stairs cackling into the dark while holding my bra>
Ladies and social media jealousy.
When you’re in that phase of “talking” or full fledge dating one another, I suggest that you stay clear of their facebook, twitter, blog, or any other social media surface that publicly displays comments from other people. Unless you’ve gained the maturity to withstand the brewing rage inside of you when you see Debbie Maybell from Bumfuck Egypt commenting on your boyfriends Facebook picture with “;) teehee sexy” or Mami4u2nv @tweeting him, “why don’t you stop over my house sometime, sweetie xo.”
If your partner is exclusive to you, there should be nothing to worry about. He should have the respect for you to handle the situation like he’s suppose to. If other girls are throwing their e-cooch all over him and he entertains the idea, obviously you both aren’t on the same level of commitment. Which means you need to reevaluate your situation and not go completely psychotic and messaging or tweeting or blogging about these girls and them needing to stop.
No matter how much you’d love to segregate your man from the easy access of ass & titties, you’re going to have to let him be a big boy on his own. You can’t prevent other woman from wanting him by constantly stating how “this is yours” to every flirty message he gets. If he’s yours, then he is yours. You’re not proving that to other people, you’re proving that to yourself out of your own insecurity. And frankly, any guy who makes you feel insecure online, definitely doesn’t deserve you offline.
If you can stimulate my mind with your conversation. You have an open invitation to stimulate everything else on my body.
What kind of man do you want to have a relationship with?
The kind of man who would take Rufio for a walk or take him to the park and be secure enough with himself holding a leash attached to a 3lb Chihuahua.
Hi. I love following you, I have been for almost a year now, and you’re one of the reasons I joined tumblr. You have such a different view of so many commonplace things. I read your posts and just think, yes, exactly. You intimidate me though, mostly I think because you're living your life the exact way I wish I could live mine. You make everything seem possible. You're picking up and moving to Italy? Awesome. I would love to know you in real life; I can't imagine that anyone wouldn't. Corny as it sounds, I think you’re helping me to be a better person, more me. You’ve taught me that it’s okay to change your mind about what you want to be when you “grow up,” that it’s okay to explore the facets of your sexuality, and that even if you let your true weird self show, you’ll be surrounded with great, equally odd people. I know you don't know me, and so what I have to say probably doesn't mean much, but I think that you are such an inspiring, interesting, amazing person, and I just wanted you to know.
This actually means the world to me.
