- I smell good.
- There will always be the hypothetical situation of being on a deserted island where you are the last remaining human on earth and you have to choose only one of them as your male counterpart.
- “I’d rather die alone and fail humanity” is not an acceptable answer.
When i’m dating somebody I measure how much I like them in the measurement of a Zombie apocalypse.
Meaning, if all of a sudden a rampage of the undead came barreling down my block and my first instinct would be to hop on whatever means of transportation I got with a baseball bat, come and get you so we can fight off zombies together because I don’t want anybody eating your brains, I want a relationship with you.
If I let you fend them off by yourself, you eventually get eaten, turn into a zombie, come after me trying to eat my brains and I have no problem going Babe Ruth to your skull, obviously you’re just somebody i’m temporarily having fun with and we have no future. Especially if zombies littered our streets in masses.
So when i’m dating somebody long enough, this is how I decipher when to take the next step. I ask myself, “are they worthy of saving during a zombie apocalypse?” Because i’m not going to risk being eaten by zombies for just anybody.
My nephew has come to the age where he now questions everything. Mainly, our family. He’s noticing we all don’t have the same last names, we don’t look alike, we all speak different languages to each other, we don’t have the same parents, but for some reason, we’re family.
I could tell him that i’m his father and uncles step sister by marriage. That everyone in the family is family by marriage. But we don’t. I don’t. Because I was there when he was first born, I gave him his middle name, I pick him up from karate and even though we’re not blood, he is my nephew and he is family. Regardless if marriage is what brought all of us together.
My brothers and I have never treated each other like step siblings. They take care of me, I take care of them, no questions asked. Thats what family do.
Hopefully my nephew will learn that from us, along with my niece and any future spawns that grow up in the ragtag Escamilla family clan. DNA will never dictate the love we have for one another, and at the end of the day I’ll always be their aunt and my brothers sister. It doesn’t matter that we have different skin colors, nationalities and blood types.
We’ll always be family.
- <Backstory: Today is my brothers surprise graduation party. I have both my niece and nephew with me grocery shopping for this said party when my brother calls me on my mobile.>
- Brother: What time are we meeting at dads?
- Me: Around six this evening, you can stop by my place and we can go over together. I got the kids with me.
- Brother: Oy, let me talk to the little buggers.
- <hands phone over to niece>
- Niece: HI UNK UNK!
- Brother: Hey little girl! What are you doing?
- Niece: SHOPPING FOR YOUR PARTY!
- Niece: ITS A SURPRISE!
- Niece: ^.^!
- Nephew in the background: SURPRISEEE!!!
- <insert facepalm>
- Brother: Welp...
- Me: Surpriseeeeeee......
Frankly, I don’t see it getting better tomorrow either. I just want to burrow my head into my pillows, throw the blankets over my body and let the week pass me by.
I hate tonight. I hate tomorrow. And I’ll hate the following day.
I don’t want to be hugged, consoled, motivated or coddled. I just want to throw darts at my wall, kick over my shoes for being assholes and glare at anything in eye contact distance. The arms are crossed, the grumpy has set in.
I hate this week.