I feel like i have to repeat this manta over and over and over again to friends and family. They’ll coo at me like i was a newborn baby about all the pros of being in a relationship, and how this magical person is going to somehow fill in all the gaps in my life that i have maintained. “You’ll see, when you meet that person, nothing else will matter.”
No. Fuck you. Fuck that. How dare you even suggest to me that just from finding someone to have a relationship status with on Facebook is going to make me a complete person in your eyes. I am a fucking complete person, despite the gaps. You know why? Because i know how to be ALONE. I’m okay. It’s not my choice to be alone, i’m open to relationships and what have you, but i’m NOT LONELY.
People perceive me as this brooding single person floating in their world of pure relationship bliss. Like, not having someone is somehow fucking with their vibe. My bad, yo. My bad for not feeling like having Mr./Mrs. “soulmate” will make me a complete person. How about me knowing what the hell i want, and being happy with the shittier version of what the hell i want is enough? How about knowing myself, and liking that person you’ve become despite the flaws and hang ups. I think that warrants a lot more to be put on a pedestal than a relationship.
I don’t want another person to complete me. I want another person to grow with me. I don’t want to have my confidence, emotions, independence, and personality be dependent on another person. Our relationship would turn into a liability, not a compliment to one another. If we come into a relationship believing that this other person is going to be the key to completing us as a human, not only are you setting yourself up for failure, but you’re also setting up that other person for the same fate. How can you expect for someone else to complete you, when you’re not even half way there as a person to help complete them? If you’re expecting this human to put in the heavy lifting to help you get your shit together, i hope you realize you’re going to have to do the samething for them. Because for some fucking reason, this world is revolving around the notion that you aren’t shit, until someone else says otherwise. That’s bullshit.
You’re someone, because you fucking know you are. And i’m not getting into a relationship, just to feel validated by my peers. I’m going to get into a relationship, because i know who i am, what i want, and what i can give to another person to help us grow as people. Don’t pity me. I’m happy every goddamn day knowing i’m strong enough to be alone, and to not feel lonely about it. That’s an accomplishment that helps me wake up every single morning. Not a Facebook relationship status.
Today i felt like i walked out of a Wes Anderson film.
Handcrafted Nut Butters by Big Spoon Roasters
Big Spoon Roasters makes handcrafted nut butters from scratch in Durham, North Carolina. Carefully selected nuts and wildflower honeys are sourced from local and like-minded farmers who share the same dedication to authentic quality. Each small batch is roasted, milled, and packaged while still warm to produce nut butters that are uniquely fresh, delicious, and nutritious.