Why do I constantly feel like I’m just a guest appearance on my own life. I don’t know if you can call it a rut, or if I’m just stuck in the same position. I accelerate in some portion and then all of a sudden it comes to a stall. Once the stall hits, I hit.

Career

Attend College > Graduate > Nobody hiring > work @ Borders > Stall

Relationship

Find a boy > Fall in love > Plan a life > Break up > Stall

Money

Steady pay checks > Student loans start > Can only afford loans > Stall

I’ve hit every single stall motion possible. My road no longer splits with possibilities, instead I got lost on my own path, and I don’t even know If I have the motivation to attempt to find my way back. I have a degree, I have a talent, but I have no opportunities. I’m watching everyone else fall into something or someone and the stars just align for them. I want my stars to stop looking like a jigsaw puzzle and start giving me some kind of break, give me something in my life that just won’t stall out.

If life was scrabble, I’d be that person that has every odd letter sitting right in front of her.. Not able to add on to a sentence, or form my own word. So what do I do, keep calling skip or toss the letters off the floor and say fuck this game, I like Clue better. I opt for the second choice..

Let’s just hope Ms. Plumb is in the library with the candle stick along with my career, love life, and money.