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My fathers advice by age.

• 2: “Be gentle, don’t hit.”
• 5: “Don’t take candy from strangers.”
• 6: “Don’t talk to strangers.” 
• 10: “Star Trek is the best show you will ever watch in your life.”
• 13: “You’ll grow into it.”
• 15: “Boys are really stupid.” 
• 16: “Don’t do drugs. If you feel like rebelling and still want to experiment against my wishes AND YOU KNOW YOU’LL BE GROUNDED FOR, do it with someone you know.”
• 18: “Don’t come home tatted, pierced, mohawk, and pregnant.”
• 19: “Well, at least you’re not pregnant.” 
• 21: “You’re still growing up, don’t rush it.” 
• 24: “Spraying your clothes with Fabreez is not considered ‘washing’ your clothes.”
• 26: “Google it.” 
• 27: “Don’t pee in a restroom area where you can’t tweet, that means they have shitty cellphone service and if somebody tries to kill you you’ll have no bars to call for help.”