My niece came home from a long day at school upset. I figured it wasn’t anything that traumatizing because she has the attention span of a gold fish. We were sitting in the kitchen trading lucky charm marshmallows when she looked up and asked, “Did your teacher hit you when you were bad?” “Who hit you anna?” I said in the most pissed off voice.

After pushing around her cereal she told me that her teacher smacked her hands during snack time. She was suppose to wait for the teacher to give permission to eat the cookies she handed out, instead my niece ate them as soon as they were on her desk (I mean, c’mon she’s my niece we don’t wait to eat cookies). The teacher came back, smacked her hands, took her drink, and made her sit in the corner for the remainder of the day.

Now I understand punishing her realistically for not listening to directions, but she’s in  Kindergarten, how the fuck are you going to slap a 6 year olds hands? My mothers pissed, my brother is pissed, everyone who is 50 miles away from the school and is a blood relative, is pissed. I’m going to have to be the calm one that goes to the school tomorrow morning to speak to the principle, if I don’t do it - I’m pretty sure my mom will be doing a prison stint.

I don’t know how I got to be the family speaker, but I will say this - if the teacher get’s an attitude with me, I’ll have no other choice but to smack her hands, and make her my bitch.