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Today i found some pretty great birdhouses and hung them in my front yard. 

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You know whats liberating about being 29?

People stop fucking asking you when you’re going to get married.

It’s like this magical number has dried up all my youth, future motherhood, and wife status. “Lets not bother the poor girl, she’s 29, she’ll be lucky if someone wants to be her roommate. Bless her heart.” It’s the only shade i ever want to receive from people, especially family. They completely bypass the question and focus on what i’ve actually been doing with my life rather than completely avoiding the 1960’s American dream. 

SUCK ON THESE DUSTY ASS EGGS I HAVE FLOATING AROUND THIS CURRENT MARRIAGE-LESS BODY. I DON’T GIVE TWO FUCKS, I’M EATING PIZZA IN MY UNDERWEAR ON A THURSDAY, BITCHES. 

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I went to the sweetlife music + food festival today. I had fun.

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Suggestions?

I need a new series to read through, i’ve already gone through:

  • The Hunger Games
  • Divergent
  • Game of Thrones
  • The Mortal Instruments
  • Percy Jackson
  • Vampire Academy
  • The House of Night

Any other suggestions? These supernatural/fairyland/mythology /survivalist series have been keeping my commute from all my jobs bearable. I need more! 

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Rufio & Tink take naps with me.

Rufio likes sleeping against me, Tink sleeps like a human.

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Dear future significant other,

With age i’ve learned how to be very low maintenance and equally low key. At this point in my life, the following sentences will make me swoon and have the sex with you.

  • I know where we should order dinner from tonight.
  • It’s okay, i understand. Honestly. 
  • Can we just nap all day today?
  • Yes, it is in fact a burrito night. 
  • I’m going to the grocery store.
  • How was your day?

Bonus points for implementing high fives as obligatory celebration practices.

Talk to me